I really don't know what to say, I cant even come up with a decent title; I'm just gonna write about what I am and what I'm not.
I'm disappointed
I'm hurt
I'm not surprised
I'm angry
I'm not ok
I'm unhappy
I'm calm
agh, there's no point in this, fuck it...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Interesting Times - Chapter 2: Shadows from The Past
Asako Shiori opened her eyes and found herself in another unfamiliar place. This time her meditation had taken her to a dark place, a place underground. Alone in this cave Asako Shiori begun to walk aimlessly knowing that the Kami have sent her this vision for a reason. It was almost pitch black, she placed her hand against a wall, it was moist, and resumed her walk. She saw a light ahead, it seemed a like torchlight, so she quickened up her pace. After a few seconds it was bright enough to see her handmaid, Yuriko, lying on the floor with one hand pressed against her face, as if weeping.
Shiori came to her; she knew that she could not talk to Yuriko, however she wanted to find out why was it that Yuriko was crying. When she came close enough she realized it was because of the pain. The skin from her face had been peeled off, all of it, including the eyelids; in shock Shiori gave two steps back and stood there for a moment saw in awe how Yuriko's face lied on the floor next to her. Shiori, horrified, started walking towards the light again and on her way she found that her Yojimbo's corpse lied mutilated on the floor; it seemed as if Shiba Tenkai had been blow apart somehow. Shiori was now running, her heart pounding in fear and disgust, when she heard Bayushi Bijomaru's voice in the distance...
"Monster?! How is it that I am the monster when it was YOU who did this?", there was anger in his voice.
Then a second voice answered in a very relaxed tone "You and your friends did this to yourselves when you first met me 40 years ago". It was a woman speaking
"40 years ago? What is that supposed to mean? First of all I'm not that old and you are barely 20 winters old!"
In that moment Asako Shiori came close enough to see Bijomaru; and saw him standing next to a woman of the Phoenix's Clan Asako family.
"I am much older than that" said the woman as she lunged forward. Her speed was unbelievable and Bijomaru was not able to evade the blow; the woman's hand had pierced his chest.
"I've finally got my vengeance on you, and now it is time for me to go forth and kill again, Seppun Ichihiro" said the woman, removing her hand from Bijomaru's chest and, as he fell to the floor, Shiori could see clearly now the face of that woman.
Her eyes widened, and she let out a scream, when she was found face to face with herself.
Asako Shiori opened her eyes again, and she was inside her room in Kyuden Toketsu.
Shiori came to her; she knew that she could not talk to Yuriko, however she wanted to find out why was it that Yuriko was crying. When she came close enough she realized it was because of the pain. The skin from her face had been peeled off, all of it, including the eyelids; in shock Shiori gave two steps back and stood there for a moment saw in awe how Yuriko's face lied on the floor next to her. Shiori, horrified, started walking towards the light again and on her way she found that her Yojimbo's corpse lied mutilated on the floor; it seemed as if Shiba Tenkai had been blow apart somehow. Shiori was now running, her heart pounding in fear and disgust, when she heard Bayushi Bijomaru's voice in the distance...
"Monster?! How is it that I am the monster when it was YOU who did this?", there was anger in his voice.
Then a second voice answered in a very relaxed tone "You and your friends did this to yourselves when you first met me 40 years ago". It was a woman speaking
"40 years ago? What is that supposed to mean? First of all I'm not that old and you are barely 20 winters old!"
In that moment Asako Shiori came close enough to see Bijomaru; and saw him standing next to a woman of the Phoenix's Clan Asako family.
"I am much older than that" said the woman as she lunged forward. Her speed was unbelievable and Bijomaru was not able to evade the blow; the woman's hand had pierced his chest.
"I've finally got my vengeance on you, and now it is time for me to go forth and kill again, Seppun Ichihiro" said the woman, removing her hand from Bijomaru's chest and, as he fell to the floor, Shiori could see clearly now the face of that woman.
Her eyes widened, and she let out a scream, when she was found face to face with herself.
Asako Shiori opened her eyes again, and she was inside her room in Kyuden Toketsu.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Diaries, Part I
How to bring down a Gaijin barbarian, by Bayushi Dokusatsu.
It have fallen into my duties to see that a certain Moto meet his demise.
The Unicorn have their leaders in the Moto Family, and this family have 2 mayor characteristics and are well know by them:
1.- They are brash, hot headed people, even to Matsu standards.
2.- The Moto, more than any other family on the Unicorn Clan, have a reputation of being Gaijin Barbarians.
How do you bring down the Unicorn? The same way you bring down everyone else: Through their flaws.
My plans involve the use of Shinobi and my new friend: The Lady Doji. I need the Lady Doji to bring me a gift of poruvora from the ranks of the Daidoji Iron Warriors, then the Shinobi will plant it inside the Gaijin fortress.
This seems simple, but simple plans are the kind of plans that are simple to crack, so it will take a little more planing, a little more time and a little more action.
Finding a Shinobi friend would have been a little more difficult, however, my masters decided to provide me with one of my own. I made him play the part of an Emerald Magistrate and commandeer half of the ronin that I have captured in town and order them to attack a heimin village not far from here under the impression that the heimin are workers of Maho; their reward would be freedom AND payment. The next day my Shinobi servant will come to Kenson Jakka playing the part of an injured hemin escaping from the ronin that are slaughtering the heimin village. I then would take comand of the troops that serve under that barbarian and take them to the heimin village to make an attack on the ronin along with Akodo-Gunso, one of my companions. None is to be left alive.
Now with the fortress empty my Shinobi friend will infiltrate it and plant the poruvora, while at the same time Isawa-San and Mirumoto-San, my other 2 companions, will, by my order, perform a search on the fortress acompanied by the rest of the ronin in Kenson Jakka.
When Isawa-San and Mirumoto-San find the poruvora with MY warrant order I will take all the credit and I will be able to take everyone down without the word "Gozoku" ever being spoken in public.
Genius.
_____________________________________________
Author's Note:
1.- Poruvora, or Gaijin Pepper, is gun powder; an illegal substance in Rokugan.
2.- Shinobi are NOT ninja, the work out of loyalty for the Clan, not money.
3.- Gunso is a military rank roughly equivalent of Sargent.
4.- Kenson Jakka (Humility Lesson) is the town in wich this story develops.
5.- Gozoku is a criminal organization.
5.- Gozoku is a criminal organization.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Interesting Times - Chapter 1: The Host
A Little north of the Kaiu Kabe, the Great Wall of the Crab Clan, stood a state that once belonged to a merchant named Yasuki Toketsu. Kyuden Toketsu became the home of many people following the death of the merchant some 400 years ago, but now it was a home to a very dangerous person that has made too many enemies for his short life.
Bayushi Bijomaru, a member of the Scorpion clan and Topaz Champion on the year 1167, was sent there as a sort of punishment but also for protection. A lot of people sought retribution and he was not always clever enough to fool everyone; he was just a young scorpion, but avarice had led him to seek greater things with risks he was not prepared to take.
That morning he went to tend to his personal garden. No one was allowed to even speak of that place in Kyuden Kotetsu, only he could take care of his precious plants that were grown for "medicinal" purposes; and as he walked he saw a piece of paper laying in the wooden floor of the outdoor halls he walked to get to that place of secrecy. He picked up the piece of paper smiling under the veil he was wearing. Upon entering his private garden he opened the paper and it was blank, then he took a petal from a strange looking flower and rubbed it against the paper and, slowly, the message was revealed. In a writing style that he and very few others could understood were written very good news for him.
Asako Shiori, a Shugenja of the Phoenix Clan, was coming to Kyuden Toketsu to conduct an investigation regarding Maho-Tsukai. He was not to be informed; however, the Scorpion Clan has it's ways. His guest would arrive Kyden Toketsu tomorrow, so he thought to himself -I've been stuck here far too long, time for me to break free of this place-. He smiled to himself, rose to his feet and went to his room; about and hour later he came back out, still smiling and leaving piece of blank paper on the table of his writing kit.
The next morning he sat to drink tea, waiting. Around noon on of his servants came in the room
- Bayushi-sama there is a Lady of the Phoenix Clan's Asako family by the name Shiori that is requesting an audience with you.
- Interesting... - The sarcasm was unbelievable - ... is she alone?.
- No, she has come with his Yojimbo and a handmaid. Apparently her Yojimbo is wounded.
- I will go to them now.
He stood up, changed his veil for a wooden menpo and went to his audience room to meet with these "unexpected" visitors. He opened the screen paper door and let everyone in the room see him enter, unusual for a Scorpion. He looked at his guest. the Lady Asako was young and beautiful, and so was her handmaid; flawless, he thought, but then he saw her Yojimbo and he was sweating profusely. Finally he spoke
- The Kami ARE wise after all. I thought my stay here was for nothing, but they have given me the change to aid the needy. My name is Bayushi Bijomaru, at your service - and he bowed to his guest
The Lady Asako answered after bowing lower - Thank you for receiving me, Bayushi-san, I am honored - Yes she was honored, but she was also disgusted - My name is Asako Shiori; these people are my Yojimbo, Shiba Tenkai and my handmaid Asako Yuriko.
- I am honored to meet you. Would you like some tea, Asako-san?.
- No, thank you, there are more urgent matters.
- Perhaps your companions would like some...?.
- No thanks, and forgive my rudeness, but there really are more urgent matters to discus.
Taking a seat Bijomaru answered - I am all ears.
- This morning on our way here we were attacked by some bandits. Tenkai-san protected us, but he has suffered wounds that are beyond my powers to restore
Bijoumaru looked at Tenkai for a moment and said - It is most likely that he has been poisoned, many of the bandits in the area like to use such tactics on their victims, it is easier to fight an ill opponent.
- The growth and use of poison is illegal, do you haven any idea where they might be getting it? - said the Yojimbo
- I am afraid not - replayed his host, smiling under his menpo.
The lady Asako said to her Yojimbo - We will deal with that later Tenkai-san, now we must make haste for Kyden Hida so they can treat you.
- Asako-san, if I may - said Bijomaru - Kyuden Hida is far from here, Tenkai-san might not have that long, and I just happen to have experience dealing with such poison; perhaps you'd like to rest here in Kyden Toketsu for today while we treat Shiba-san's condition.
The Lady Asako stood quiet, thinking for a while about what she should do. The people of the Scorpion Clan had a notorious reputation of being manipulative snakes that twisted things so they could get away with their plans. Maybe Bijomaru was planing something, but the Lady had no choice, if Tenkai was indeed poisoned then he would need treatment quickly... so she said the most logical thing to say - I would be honored to be your guest for today.
Bijomaru, smiling again, replied while bowing - Then I will order the servants to prepare your rooms immediately.
_________________________________________________________
Author's Note:
For all those who aren't familiar with the setting:
- A Yojimbo is a warrior assigned to protect someone that has not practiced the way of the sword, such as Shugenjas and Courtiers
- A menpo is a mask. Usually it only covers the lower portion of the face, from the nose down, but some times a full face menpo is used.
Bayushi Bijomaru, a member of the Scorpion clan and Topaz Champion on the year 1167, was sent there as a sort of punishment but also for protection. A lot of people sought retribution and he was not always clever enough to fool everyone; he was just a young scorpion, but avarice had led him to seek greater things with risks he was not prepared to take.
That morning he went to tend to his personal garden. No one was allowed to even speak of that place in Kyuden Kotetsu, only he could take care of his precious plants that were grown for "medicinal" purposes; and as he walked he saw a piece of paper laying in the wooden floor of the outdoor halls he walked to get to that place of secrecy. He picked up the piece of paper smiling under the veil he was wearing. Upon entering his private garden he opened the paper and it was blank, then he took a petal from a strange looking flower and rubbed it against the paper and, slowly, the message was revealed. In a writing style that he and very few others could understood were written very good news for him.
Asako Shiori, a Shugenja of the Phoenix Clan, was coming to Kyuden Toketsu to conduct an investigation regarding Maho-Tsukai. He was not to be informed; however, the Scorpion Clan has it's ways. His guest would arrive Kyden Toketsu tomorrow, so he thought to himself -I've been stuck here far too long, time for me to break free of this place-. He smiled to himself, rose to his feet and went to his room; about and hour later he came back out, still smiling and leaving piece of blank paper on the table of his writing kit.
The next morning he sat to drink tea, waiting. Around noon on of his servants came in the room
- Bayushi-sama there is a Lady of the Phoenix Clan's Asako family by the name Shiori that is requesting an audience with you.
- Interesting... - The sarcasm was unbelievable - ... is she alone?.
- No, she has come with his Yojimbo and a handmaid. Apparently her Yojimbo is wounded.
- I will go to them now.
He stood up, changed his veil for a wooden menpo and went to his audience room to meet with these "unexpected" visitors. He opened the screen paper door and let everyone in the room see him enter, unusual for a Scorpion. He looked at his guest. the Lady Asako was young and beautiful, and so was her handmaid; flawless, he thought, but then he saw her Yojimbo and he was sweating profusely. Finally he spoke
- The Kami ARE wise after all. I thought my stay here was for nothing, but they have given me the change to aid the needy. My name is Bayushi Bijomaru, at your service - and he bowed to his guest
The Lady Asako answered after bowing lower - Thank you for receiving me, Bayushi-san, I am honored - Yes she was honored, but she was also disgusted - My name is Asako Shiori; these people are my Yojimbo, Shiba Tenkai and my handmaid Asako Yuriko.
- I am honored to meet you. Would you like some tea, Asako-san?.
- No, thank you, there are more urgent matters.
- Perhaps your companions would like some...?.
- No thanks, and forgive my rudeness, but there really are more urgent matters to discus.
Taking a seat Bijomaru answered - I am all ears.
- This morning on our way here we were attacked by some bandits. Tenkai-san protected us, but he has suffered wounds that are beyond my powers to restore
Bijoumaru looked at Tenkai for a moment and said - It is most likely that he has been poisoned, many of the bandits in the area like to use such tactics on their victims, it is easier to fight an ill opponent.
- The growth and use of poison is illegal, do you haven any idea where they might be getting it? - said the Yojimbo
- I am afraid not - replayed his host, smiling under his menpo.
The lady Asako said to her Yojimbo - We will deal with that later Tenkai-san, now we must make haste for Kyden Hida so they can treat you.
- Asako-san, if I may - said Bijomaru - Kyuden Hida is far from here, Tenkai-san might not have that long, and I just happen to have experience dealing with such poison; perhaps you'd like to rest here in Kyden Toketsu for today while we treat Shiba-san's condition.
The Lady Asako stood quiet, thinking for a while about what she should do. The people of the Scorpion Clan had a notorious reputation of being manipulative snakes that twisted things so they could get away with their plans. Maybe Bijomaru was planing something, but the Lady had no choice, if Tenkai was indeed poisoned then he would need treatment quickly... so she said the most logical thing to say - I would be honored to be your guest for today.
Bijomaru, smiling again, replied while bowing - Then I will order the servants to prepare your rooms immediately.
_________________________________________________________
Author's Note:
For all those who aren't familiar with the setting:
- A Yojimbo is a warrior assigned to protect someone that has not practiced the way of the sword, such as Shugenjas and Courtiers
- A menpo is a mask. Usually it only covers the lower portion of the face, from the nose down, but some times a full face menpo is used.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Interesting Times - Prologue
Asako Shiori opened her eyes and found herself in a place she has never seen before. The walls were made of stone, there were no sliding paper screen but wooden doors, and in front of her stood a young lady no older than 20 winters. The girl had her knees tied together and a knife in her hands; it was obvious that she was about to commit jigai, a form of suicide often committed by the females of the samurai caste in which they cut the jugular vein to archive a certain and fast death. The knees were tied together to ensure that she would be found in a dignified pose.
Shiori could not recognize the girl, but from her clothing she knew that she belonged to the Isawa Family of the Phoenix Clan. The girl lifted the knife and placed it against her neck, and when she made the cut Shiori's eyes widened to see the blood that came out, for it was black as night. This could only mean one thing, the girl carried The Taint of The Shadowlands within her. The reason of her suicide was clear to Asako Shiori, who closed her eyes.
When she opened her eyes again, Shiori was meditating in her house; she was a Shugenja. In Rokugan, those belonging to the Samurai caste went to dojos to be rained in different things; those trained in the art of courtship and diplomacy became Courtiers, those trained in the art of war and the way of the sword became Bushi, and those trained in the art of the kami and magic became Shugenja. They are the priest and scribes of the samurai caste; they can also cast powerful spells by offering prayers to the kami. The word "kami" have 2 meanings. If capitalized, the Kami are the sons and daughters of The Sun and The Moon: Akodo: Founder of the Lion Clan, Bayushi: Founder of the Scorpion Clan, Doji: Founder of the Crane Clan, Fu Leng: Master of the Shadowlands, Hantei: The first Emperor of Rokugan, Hida: Founder of the Crab Clan, Ryoshun: Protector of the Spirit Realms, Shiba: Founder of the Phoenix Clan, Shinjo: Founder of the Unicorn Clan and Togashi: Founder of the Dragon Clan.
If not capitalized, the kami are the spirits of the elements present in every thing on the land.
From the smallest pebble to the biggest mountain, from the tiniest creek to the great sea, every sword, every plant, within everything that is made of at least one element resides a kami; and they sometimes interact with people, more frequently with those willing to listen, like the Shugenja.
Following the steps of her honorable father, Shiori became part of an order dedicated to the hunt of Maho-Tsukai, workers of tainted black magic which draws power, not from the kami, but from the blood of living beings. Because of that she travels a lot and she is rarely home, so she tried to enjoy herself as much as she could, but this time it would not be so, for in her meditation she had a terrible vision of a tainted member of her Clan commit Jigai. She was convinced that it meant something, so she made arrangements to leave town and go to Kyuden Isawa, the capitol of the Phoenix Clan lands. There, she would find answers, or so she believed.
____________________________________________________
PD: For more information about Rokugan go here
Shiori could not recognize the girl, but from her clothing she knew that she belonged to the Isawa Family of the Phoenix Clan. The girl lifted the knife and placed it against her neck, and when she made the cut Shiori's eyes widened to see the blood that came out, for it was black as night. This could only mean one thing, the girl carried The Taint of The Shadowlands within her. The reason of her suicide was clear to Asako Shiori, who closed her eyes.
When she opened her eyes again, Shiori was meditating in her house; she was a Shugenja. In Rokugan, those belonging to the Samurai caste went to dojos to be rained in different things; those trained in the art of courtship and diplomacy became Courtiers, those trained in the art of war and the way of the sword became Bushi, and those trained in the art of the kami and magic became Shugenja. They are the priest and scribes of the samurai caste; they can also cast powerful spells by offering prayers to the kami. The word "kami" have 2 meanings. If capitalized, the Kami are the sons and daughters of The Sun and The Moon: Akodo: Founder of the Lion Clan, Bayushi: Founder of the Scorpion Clan, Doji: Founder of the Crane Clan, Fu Leng: Master of the Shadowlands, Hantei: The first Emperor of Rokugan, Hida: Founder of the Crab Clan, Ryoshun: Protector of the Spirit Realms, Shiba: Founder of the Phoenix Clan, Shinjo: Founder of the Unicorn Clan and Togashi: Founder of the Dragon Clan.
If not capitalized, the kami are the spirits of the elements present in every thing on the land.
From the smallest pebble to the biggest mountain, from the tiniest creek to the great sea, every sword, every plant, within everything that is made of at least one element resides a kami; and they sometimes interact with people, more frequently with those willing to listen, like the Shugenja.
Following the steps of her honorable father, Shiori became part of an order dedicated to the hunt of Maho-Tsukai, workers of tainted black magic which draws power, not from the kami, but from the blood of living beings. Because of that she travels a lot and she is rarely home, so she tried to enjoy herself as much as she could, but this time it would not be so, for in her meditation she had a terrible vision of a tainted member of her Clan commit Jigai. She was convinced that it meant something, so she made arrangements to leave town and go to Kyuden Isawa, the capitol of the Phoenix Clan lands. There, she would find answers, or so she believed.
____________________________________________________
PD: For more information about Rokugan go here
Friday, August 14, 2009
That Pisses Me Off - Part XII
I am not a Christian guy... I once was, really, but somewhere along the road, I grew up and realized it was not for me. Why you ask?... I'll tell you why
*Cheap Talk show music playing*
Hello and welcome to a new Edition of "That Pisses Me Off"; I'm your host, guAji, and after a long absence I AM BACK!
As I said before, I am not Christian, and here's why.
1.- Today's been a year since my great grandmother's death, and my family set up a service in her name and shit, so I went to pay my respect to her. Now, for the 3rd time today, I'm not Christian, and I was the better behaved person in the building! Everyone was joking around, paying more attention to their phones that to the service and I even saw a guy sleeping... what the fuck kind of behavior is that? The worst part is that God is so merciful that he'd forgive that kind of behavior ... Wake up stupid! That's not a merciful God, that's a stupid one! everyone goes around committing sin after sin after sin, then you can repent at the moment of death and you'll get a free ticket to heaven? It's disrespectful and no one does anything about it; so 1st reason: The Christians are little shits
2.- Today, at church also, I had to listen to the priest rant on about how homosexuality is against God and shit, that homosexual relationships are not allowed in the Kingdom of Heaven and stuff because God said so. Wake up you over educated alleged virgin old fart, times change! You can't be that close minded; or do you plan another inquisition and witch hunts and stuff? You guys burned people because they were suspected of witchcraft, and that was because IT WAS AGAINST GOD and God said so.... So committing murder is Ok? Isn't one of the 10 commandments Thou shall not kill? Shit, it weren't for open minded people you'd still be burning "witches". So, reason number 2: Close mindedness and hypocrisy
3.-I really can't be a part of a religion that tells me I'm useless, or that I have no power whatsoever over my life and I must leave it in the hands of God! In Christianity you always get phrases like "God, I'm not worthy...", "forgive me God, I'm only human" and so on and so forth, and the proof of that is this prayer:
Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be your Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, On earth as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins As we forgive those Who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, And the glory are yours Now and forever. Amen.
Lets take a closer look, shall we?
Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be your Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, On earth as in Heaven. -I'm not quite comfortable with HIS will being done just because, but I can live with that -Give us today our daily bread. - Why? can't you work for your own? - Forgive us our sins As we forgive those Who sin against us. - Why should he forgive you? Just because? Wouldn't it better NOT TO SIN? - Lead us not into temptation - Grow up! Walk away yourself - But deliver us from evil. - I've told you already, walk away from there and DO NOT SIN, weakling! - For the kingdom, the power, And the glory are yours Now and forever. - So everything is his? Nothing I do is worth shit because it not his work? -Amen.
So reason number 3: That religion underestimates people so that they turn blindly to the Church for guidance.... I wont be a sheep. I'm sorry.
Now lets be clear, I have nothing against God, or his son or whatever; in fact I think that a guy'd send his own son to die for such stupid would be followers really cares about shit you know? Although sending your own fucking son is kind of harsh... But the point is: It's not God, I just dislike Christianity, that's all.
*Cheap Talk show music playing*
Hello and welcome to a new Edition of "That Pisses Me Off"; I'm your host, guAji, and after a long absence I AM BACK!
As I said before, I am not Christian, and here's why.
1.- Today's been a year since my great grandmother's death, and my family set up a service in her name and shit, so I went to pay my respect to her. Now, for the 3rd time today, I'm not Christian, and I was the better behaved person in the building! Everyone was joking around, paying more attention to their phones that to the service and I even saw a guy sleeping... what the fuck kind of behavior is that? The worst part is that God is so merciful that he'd forgive that kind of behavior ... Wake up stupid! That's not a merciful God, that's a stupid one! everyone goes around committing sin after sin after sin, then you can repent at the moment of death and you'll get a free ticket to heaven? It's disrespectful and no one does anything about it; so 1st reason: The Christians are little shits
2.- Today, at church also, I had to listen to the priest rant on about how homosexuality is against God and shit, that homosexual relationships are not allowed in the Kingdom of Heaven and stuff because God said so. Wake up you over educated alleged virgin old fart, times change! You can't be that close minded; or do you plan another inquisition and witch hunts and stuff? You guys burned people because they were suspected of witchcraft, and that was because IT WAS AGAINST GOD and God said so.... So committing murder is Ok? Isn't one of the 10 commandments Thou shall not kill? Shit, it weren't for open minded people you'd still be burning "witches". So, reason number 2: Close mindedness and hypocrisy
3.-I really can't be a part of a religion that tells me I'm useless, or that I have no power whatsoever over my life and I must leave it in the hands of God! In Christianity you always get phrases like "God, I'm not worthy...", "forgive me God, I'm only human" and so on and so forth, and the proof of that is this prayer:
Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be your Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, On earth as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins As we forgive those Who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, And the glory are yours Now and forever. Amen.
Lets take a closer look, shall we?
Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be your Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, On earth as in Heaven. -I'm not quite comfortable with HIS will being done just because, but I can live with that -Give us today our daily bread. - Why? can't you work for your own? - Forgive us our sins As we forgive those Who sin against us. - Why should he forgive you? Just because? Wouldn't it better NOT TO SIN? - Lead us not into temptation - Grow up! Walk away yourself - But deliver us from evil. - I've told you already, walk away from there and DO NOT SIN, weakling! - For the kingdom, the power, And the glory are yours Now and forever. - So everything is his? Nothing I do is worth shit because it not his work? -Amen.
So reason number 3: That religion underestimates people so that they turn blindly to the Church for guidance.... I wont be a sheep. I'm sorry.
Now lets be clear, I have nothing against God, or his son or whatever; in fact I think that a guy'd send his own son to die for such stupid would be followers really cares about shit you know? Although sending your own fucking son is kind of harsh... But the point is: It's not God, I just dislike Christianity, that's all.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
G.I. Joe - The Rise of the Cobra
I went to see this movie yesterday
When I found out that they were making a G.I. Joe movie I thought "It's gonna be a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad movie"... Why? Easy:
1.- The director is the same guy from The Mummy and those are bad
2.- The cast was questionable at best
3.- It's an American movie about a team of kick ass soldiers.... I figured it'll be patriotism all over
So after watching the movie I have to admit that I was wrong.
Don't misunderstand me, it's not a good movie; but it's definitively NOT bad, you just need to understand what kind of movie you're about to see. It's not a movie abour stunning performances by the actors, nor it's about a killer plot; it's an action movie about an 80's cartoon! Now, taking that into consideration, lets take a look at the good and bad things about the movie:
Cool things:
- Nice special effects
- Nice fight choreography (as well as shooting sequences)
- It's not overloaded with explosions or other rather cheap waste of special effects
- Decent, although not deep, plot
Bad things:
- The actors don't give their best performances
- You kind of see the ending coming
- Some of the special effect seem exaggerated/fake (the chick driving the bike)
- The Cobra Commander was a Darth Vader wannabe
- Heavy Duty actually said "Yo, Joe!"
I watched this and I enjoyed it from the beginning until the end; I know I said it was not a good movie, but it's fun and entertaining. I might be missing some stuff here, but to be honest that's pretty much what I've got to say about the movie.
I'm out!
When I found out that they were making a G.I. Joe movie I thought "It's gonna be a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad movie"... Why? Easy:
1.- The director is the same guy from The Mummy and those are bad
2.- The cast was questionable at best
3.- It's an American movie about a team of kick ass soldiers.... I figured it'll be patriotism all over
So after watching the movie I have to admit that I was wrong.
Don't misunderstand me, it's not a good movie; but it's definitively NOT bad, you just need to understand what kind of movie you're about to see. It's not a movie abour stunning performances by the actors, nor it's about a killer plot; it's an action movie about an 80's cartoon! Now, taking that into consideration, lets take a look at the good and bad things about the movie:
Cool things:
- Nice special effects
- Nice fight choreography (as well as shooting sequences)
- It's not overloaded with explosions or other rather cheap waste of special effects
- Decent, although not deep, plot
Bad things:
- The actors don't give their best performances
- You kind of see the ending coming
- Some of the special effect seem exaggerated/fake (the chick driving the bike)
- The Cobra Commander was a Darth Vader wannabe
- Heavy Duty actually said "Yo, Joe!"
I watched this and I enjoyed it from the beginning until the end; I know I said it was not a good movie, but it's fun and entertaining. I might be missing some stuff here, but to be honest that's pretty much what I've got to say about the movie.
I'm out!
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Jesus Fucking Christ...
... I've lost my jar of pink paint!
I know I didn't like it that much, it wasn't red after all, but it was my jar of paint god dammit!!
I don't know if someone stole it, or I if lost it or if it simply just walked away but bottom line is: I have no jar and I have no paint whatsoever; not red, nor white nor pink, ANYTHING!
It was my jar of paint! Mine! And no others!! Fuck!
What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I can't just walk around with no paint, what kind of stupid walk would that be?
I know I didn't like it that much, it wasn't red after all, but it was my jar of paint god dammit!!
I don't know if someone stole it, or I if lost it or if it simply just walked away but bottom line is: I have no jar and I have no paint whatsoever; not red, nor white nor pink, ANYTHING!
It was my jar of paint! Mine! And no others!! Fuck!
What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I can't just walk around with no paint, what kind of stupid walk would that be?
Monday, May 11, 2009
Vienna? After Sundown
This one will be in Spanish.. Why? Because Napo recommended so...
Viena, 1990. Una fría noche de invierno como cualquier otra.
Alexander Doile era un narcotraficante que había ganado bastante poder en los últimos 2 o 3 años. Entró a su oficina, un cuarto dentro de su apartamento que empezaba a ser un sitio lujoso; con el traía un sobre de manila que puso sobre su escritorio. Antes de sentarse se sirvió un trago y luego levantó el teléfono para llamar a su mas frecuente cliente. Hizo la llamada a un numero que pocas personas conocían y del otro lado de la linea no hubo respuesta, como siempre, así que Alexander colgó el teléfono y se sentó. Tomó un trago y enseguida el teléfono sonó, como era de esperarse; al levantar el auricular del otro lado de la linea una voz dijo "Que?", Alexander respondió "Tengo el paquete de este mes", a lo cual la voz respondió "Enseguida envío a Adolf por el" y colgó el teléfono. Alexander también colgó el teléfono y tomó otro trago mientras pensaba "Seguro, no es como que tenga cosas mas importantes que hacer" y luego habló en voz baja, quejándose "Me caías mejor antes, cuando eras tu quien trataba conmigo..."
Media hora mas tarde un par de hombres evidentemente armados, uno vestido de traje y sombrero, otro vestido con jeans y una camiseta negra, entraron de golpe en la oficina de Alexander Doile, quien los recibió asentando con la cabeza y diciendo "Caballeros, siempre es un placer tenerlos aquí". El nivel de sarcasmo en esa frase era suficiente para merecer un tiro en la cabeza, quizá eso quería Alexander, pero los hombres sabían lo que les esperaba si escogían dispararle al narcotraficante. Uno de ellos, el que iba de jeans, dijo de manera seca "Dónde está?", Alexander tomo el sobre y se lo alcanzó a quien preguntó. El hombre inmediatamente se dio vuelta y salió del cuarto, el otro dijo antes de salir "Tu dinero será depositado en el transcurso de la semana".
Cuando Alexander estuvo solo pensó "Gracias Alex, Te debo una Alex... Qué pasó contigo viejo?".
Una hora mas tarde en una parte muy distinta de la ciudad, los hombres que entraron en la oficina de Alexander Doile bajaron del auto que conducía y se acercaron a un galpón aparentemente desolado. De entre algunos containers apareció una mujer alta y esbelta, vestida con pantalones de cuero y una sudadera roja, cabello negro y largo que portaba una Desert Eagle en sus manos. El hombre de los jeans saltó del susto y exclamo "Demonios Vampyra, debes dejar de hacer eso!!" a lo que la mujer respondió con hostilidad "Te he dicho que no me llames así, mi nombre es Diana! Y si hay alguien que debe dejar de hacer algo pues eres tu el que debe dejar de cargarse en los pantalones cada vez que nos reunimos. Cuánto tiempo hace que trabajan para nosotros?". Nosotros, Diana siempre afirmo la existencia de alguien mas, pero ellos nunca habían visto a nadie mas, solo a ella. El otro hombre le ofreció el sobre diciendo "Casi 2 años Di; déjalo en paz, él hace bien su trabajo", ella tomó el sobre y después dijo "Tú haces bien tu trabajo Adolf, pero mientras no tengas gente competente trabajando para tí, sólo te encargarás de recoger paquetes". Luego abrió el sobre exponiendo su contenido a la luz de una lámpara cercana.
Lo que estaba dentro del sobre eran fotos que mostraban a un hombre elegante, vestido con estilo en un traje muy fino. Primero, habían unas donde se veía que estaba en un café con una chica. Luego, unas caminando con la chica por la ciudad. Luego habían unas que mostraban un cuarto a través de una ventana, la cortina a veces interfería con la fotografía pero no hacia falta ser genio para saber que la pareja tenia sexo, de ese sexo que sólo se ve en películas snuff. Luego de pasar algunas fotos del acto, que parecía excitar a Diana, había una donde el hombre se mostraba triste y tocando una guitarra en el borde de una cama, aún desnudo y con su pareja muerta, o inconsciente, detrás de el.
Diana se detuvo en esa foto en particular, esa foto donde el hermoso rostro de aquel elegante hombre se podía ver con claridad. Entonces, la voz del asustadizo hombre en jeans rompió el silencio y dijo "No lo entiendo!". Diana respondió con incredulidad en la voz "Qué?!". No es que no entendiera lo que el hombre quiso decir, es que no podía creer lo que había escuchado; y el hombre siguió hablando "No entiendo por que ponen a un papparazzi a fotografiar a un marica en Barcelona! Y que clase de nombre es Alejandro de la Torre?!"
En ese momento, el hombre sintió miedo como nunca antes lo había sentido pues se dio cuenta, en ese instante, que Diana no estaba sola. Un hombre alto y atlético, con el cabello negro a la altura de los hombros, patillas muy frondosas, con colmillos y ojos como los de un perro estuvo junto a ella todo este tiempo. Y este hombre se abalanzó sobre él con una velocidad sobrenatural, lo tomó por el cuello con una mano y lo arrecostó de golpe contra un container cercano. Adolf trató de dispararle a quien asaltó a su asociado; pero antes de que pudiera apuntar, Diana tenía su pistola apuntando su cabeza diciendo "Si crees que esa es la mejor opción, adelante". Con el rabillo del ojo Adolf vio la brillante pistola de Diana, luego volvió su mirada a su compañero y el hombre que lo había asaltado. Estaba vestido de jeans y una chaqueta de cuero negro.
Adolf estaba sorprendido, todo este tiempo ese hombre estuvo allí, pero por alguna razón que no lograba entender, el y su compañero lo obviaron por completo; y ahora la vida de su compañero, y probablemente la suya, colgaban de un hilo. Así que lentamente y con cuidado enfundó su arma.
El compañero de Adolf soltó un gemido, las uñas de su asaltante presionaban fuertemente su traquea. Trato de hablar pero lo único que logró sacar fue otro gemido, lo que parecía deleitar a su asaltante, quien colocó su cabeza muy cerca del cuello de su presa. Una presa, eso era el compañero de Adolf, una presa en manos de alguien que pertenece a la especie de depredadores supremos; y este depredador se detuvo un momento allí para escuchar el corazón de su presa.... Latía sumamente rápido. Luego habló con una voz relajada pero que al mismo tiempo dejaba oír una gran ira que podía ser desatada en cualquier momento:
"Ese marica es la única persona que ha sido mas astuta que yo y por ende YO digo que se merece el respeto de todas las criaturas con inteligencia suficiente como para ser capaces de demostrarlo". en ese momento las uñas del depredador empezaron a crecer y se enterraron en el cuello de su presa creando 5 profundos agujeros por donde empezó a brotar un caudal de sangre. Cuando el compañero de Adolf calló al suelo, éste se desangraba y luchaba por respirar.
El depredador limpió sus dedos con su lengua, luego en la ropa de su derrotada presa y por ultimo se volvió hacia Adolf mientras se ponía unas gafas oscuras "Espero que tu próximo compañero no sea tan bocón. Diana, nos vamos". En ese momento Diana guardó su arma y empezó a caminar mientras decía "Mi señor me llama, estaremos en contacto" y ambos desaparecieron en la noche.
En ese momento, dentro de una limusina en Turin, Italia, la cinta de vídeo que mostraba los eventos que ocurrieron en ese aparentemente desolado galpón se detuvo y una chica asiática vestida de traje apagó el televisor que ella y un caballero, también de traje, veían mientras éste se arreglaba el nudo de su corbata. Hubo un silencio prolongado y finalmente el caballero dijo con cierta desilusión en su voz "Marko, Marko, tienes que aprender a dejar atrás el pasado. Estas rabietas te van a matar...".
Después de otro silencio la chica habló con una voz muy hermosa "Hemos llegado señor", a lo cual el hombre respondió "Sabes por que te escogí Ryoko? En 500 años de vida no he escuchado a nadie con una voz mas hermosa que la tuya"; "Me alaga señor" fue la respuesta de Ryoko.
Al bajarse del auto el caballero se dirigió a un hombre gordo quien lo esperaba en la puerta de su casa diciendo "Don Luca?"
El hombre gordo, después de ojear a su invitado respondió, "Sí? Supongo que usted es quien me sacará del país..."
"En efecto, sí. Un favor para la Singorina Giovanni, no se preocupe por el dinero" respondió.
"Bien, pase por acá..." dijo Don Luca abriendo la puerta de su casa "... cuál dijo que era su nombre?"
Con una sonrisa, revelando sus colmillos, el caballero se volteó y respondió "Andrea Di Montisello, para servirle"
Viena, 1990. Una fría noche de invierno como cualquier otra.
Alexander Doile era un narcotraficante que había ganado bastante poder en los últimos 2 o 3 años. Entró a su oficina, un cuarto dentro de su apartamento que empezaba a ser un sitio lujoso; con el traía un sobre de manila que puso sobre su escritorio. Antes de sentarse se sirvió un trago y luego levantó el teléfono para llamar a su mas frecuente cliente. Hizo la llamada a un numero que pocas personas conocían y del otro lado de la linea no hubo respuesta, como siempre, así que Alexander colgó el teléfono y se sentó. Tomó un trago y enseguida el teléfono sonó, como era de esperarse; al levantar el auricular del otro lado de la linea una voz dijo "Que?", Alexander respondió "Tengo el paquete de este mes", a lo cual la voz respondió "Enseguida envío a Adolf por el" y colgó el teléfono. Alexander también colgó el teléfono y tomó otro trago mientras pensaba "Seguro, no es como que tenga cosas mas importantes que hacer" y luego habló en voz baja, quejándose "Me caías mejor antes, cuando eras tu quien trataba conmigo..."
Media hora mas tarde un par de hombres evidentemente armados, uno vestido de traje y sombrero, otro vestido con jeans y una camiseta negra, entraron de golpe en la oficina de Alexander Doile, quien los recibió asentando con la cabeza y diciendo "Caballeros, siempre es un placer tenerlos aquí". El nivel de sarcasmo en esa frase era suficiente para merecer un tiro en la cabeza, quizá eso quería Alexander, pero los hombres sabían lo que les esperaba si escogían dispararle al narcotraficante. Uno de ellos, el que iba de jeans, dijo de manera seca "Dónde está?", Alexander tomo el sobre y se lo alcanzó a quien preguntó. El hombre inmediatamente se dio vuelta y salió del cuarto, el otro dijo antes de salir "Tu dinero será depositado en el transcurso de la semana".
Cuando Alexander estuvo solo pensó "Gracias Alex, Te debo una Alex... Qué pasó contigo viejo?".
Una hora mas tarde en una parte muy distinta de la ciudad, los hombres que entraron en la oficina de Alexander Doile bajaron del auto que conducía y se acercaron a un galpón aparentemente desolado. De entre algunos containers apareció una mujer alta y esbelta, vestida con pantalones de cuero y una sudadera roja, cabello negro y largo que portaba una Desert Eagle en sus manos. El hombre de los jeans saltó del susto y exclamo "Demonios Vampyra, debes dejar de hacer eso!!" a lo que la mujer respondió con hostilidad "Te he dicho que no me llames así, mi nombre es Diana! Y si hay alguien que debe dejar de hacer algo pues eres tu el que debe dejar de cargarse en los pantalones cada vez que nos reunimos. Cuánto tiempo hace que trabajan para nosotros?". Nosotros, Diana siempre afirmo la existencia de alguien mas, pero ellos nunca habían visto a nadie mas, solo a ella. El otro hombre le ofreció el sobre diciendo "Casi 2 años Di; déjalo en paz, él hace bien su trabajo", ella tomó el sobre y después dijo "Tú haces bien tu trabajo Adolf, pero mientras no tengas gente competente trabajando para tí, sólo te encargarás de recoger paquetes". Luego abrió el sobre exponiendo su contenido a la luz de una lámpara cercana.
Lo que estaba dentro del sobre eran fotos que mostraban a un hombre elegante, vestido con estilo en un traje muy fino. Primero, habían unas donde se veía que estaba en un café con una chica. Luego, unas caminando con la chica por la ciudad. Luego habían unas que mostraban un cuarto a través de una ventana, la cortina a veces interfería con la fotografía pero no hacia falta ser genio para saber que la pareja tenia sexo, de ese sexo que sólo se ve en películas snuff. Luego de pasar algunas fotos del acto, que parecía excitar a Diana, había una donde el hombre se mostraba triste y tocando una guitarra en el borde de una cama, aún desnudo y con su pareja muerta, o inconsciente, detrás de el.
Diana se detuvo en esa foto en particular, esa foto donde el hermoso rostro de aquel elegante hombre se podía ver con claridad. Entonces, la voz del asustadizo hombre en jeans rompió el silencio y dijo "No lo entiendo!". Diana respondió con incredulidad en la voz "Qué?!". No es que no entendiera lo que el hombre quiso decir, es que no podía creer lo que había escuchado; y el hombre siguió hablando "No entiendo por que ponen a un papparazzi a fotografiar a un marica en Barcelona! Y que clase de nombre es Alejandro de la Torre?!"
En ese momento, el hombre sintió miedo como nunca antes lo había sentido pues se dio cuenta, en ese instante, que Diana no estaba sola. Un hombre alto y atlético, con el cabello negro a la altura de los hombros, patillas muy frondosas, con colmillos y ojos como los de un perro estuvo junto a ella todo este tiempo. Y este hombre se abalanzó sobre él con una velocidad sobrenatural, lo tomó por el cuello con una mano y lo arrecostó de golpe contra un container cercano. Adolf trató de dispararle a quien asaltó a su asociado; pero antes de que pudiera apuntar, Diana tenía su pistola apuntando su cabeza diciendo "Si crees que esa es la mejor opción, adelante". Con el rabillo del ojo Adolf vio la brillante pistola de Diana, luego volvió su mirada a su compañero y el hombre que lo había asaltado. Estaba vestido de jeans y una chaqueta de cuero negro.
Adolf estaba sorprendido, todo este tiempo ese hombre estuvo allí, pero por alguna razón que no lograba entender, el y su compañero lo obviaron por completo; y ahora la vida de su compañero, y probablemente la suya, colgaban de un hilo. Así que lentamente y con cuidado enfundó su arma.
El compañero de Adolf soltó un gemido, las uñas de su asaltante presionaban fuertemente su traquea. Trato de hablar pero lo único que logró sacar fue otro gemido, lo que parecía deleitar a su asaltante, quien colocó su cabeza muy cerca del cuello de su presa. Una presa, eso era el compañero de Adolf, una presa en manos de alguien que pertenece a la especie de depredadores supremos; y este depredador se detuvo un momento allí para escuchar el corazón de su presa.... Latía sumamente rápido. Luego habló con una voz relajada pero que al mismo tiempo dejaba oír una gran ira que podía ser desatada en cualquier momento:
"Ese marica es la única persona que ha sido mas astuta que yo y por ende YO digo que se merece el respeto de todas las criaturas con inteligencia suficiente como para ser capaces de demostrarlo". en ese momento las uñas del depredador empezaron a crecer y se enterraron en el cuello de su presa creando 5 profundos agujeros por donde empezó a brotar un caudal de sangre. Cuando el compañero de Adolf calló al suelo, éste se desangraba y luchaba por respirar.
El depredador limpió sus dedos con su lengua, luego en la ropa de su derrotada presa y por ultimo se volvió hacia Adolf mientras se ponía unas gafas oscuras "Espero que tu próximo compañero no sea tan bocón. Diana, nos vamos". En ese momento Diana guardó su arma y empezó a caminar mientras decía "Mi señor me llama, estaremos en contacto" y ambos desaparecieron en la noche.
En ese momento, dentro de una limusina en Turin, Italia, la cinta de vídeo que mostraba los eventos que ocurrieron en ese aparentemente desolado galpón se detuvo y una chica asiática vestida de traje apagó el televisor que ella y un caballero, también de traje, veían mientras éste se arreglaba el nudo de su corbata. Hubo un silencio prolongado y finalmente el caballero dijo con cierta desilusión en su voz "Marko, Marko, tienes que aprender a dejar atrás el pasado. Estas rabietas te van a matar...".
Después de otro silencio la chica habló con una voz muy hermosa "Hemos llegado señor", a lo cual el hombre respondió "Sabes por que te escogí Ryoko? En 500 años de vida no he escuchado a nadie con una voz mas hermosa que la tuya"; "Me alaga señor" fue la respuesta de Ryoko.
Al bajarse del auto el caballero se dirigió a un hombre gordo quien lo esperaba en la puerta de su casa diciendo "Don Luca?"
El hombre gordo, después de ojear a su invitado respondió, "Sí? Supongo que usted es quien me sacará del país..."
"En efecto, sí. Un favor para la Singorina Giovanni, no se preocupe por el dinero" respondió.
"Bien, pase por acá..." dijo Don Luca abriendo la puerta de su casa "... cuál dijo que era su nombre?"
Con una sonrisa, revelando sus colmillos, el caballero se volteó y respondió "Andrea Di Montisello, para servirle"
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Dragon Ball Evolution
WARNING: Heavy spoilers... not that it matters, because it's a very bad movie.
For all those who don't know 20th Century Fox bought the rights to make a Dragon Ball movie. Being an American movie, just like Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within, we knew it was going to suck from day one... but, oh by the Gods, we had no idea it was going to be this bad.... the horror, THE HUMANITY!!!
Lets begin by saying this:
People at Fox, hear me now... Goku never, EVER, cared SHIT about girls! He married Chi Chi because, like many other men, he had no idea what he was getting into!
Jesus-fucking-christ, I understand that you are trying to remake this whole world to make it into a new franchise and stuff but for fucks sake you DO NOT mess with the main character like that!! You wanna make him go to school? Fine! You wanna make him less interested in fighting? Be my guest, but Goku is not a cool guy... he is a silly boy who managed to stay a silly boy no matter how old he got!!! And he cared not about being popular and going to parties!
Everyone else matured and grew up in the course of the story, not Goku... He stayed a kid no matter how old he got or how many kids he had.
On to the other characters:
-Grampa Gohan was... eeeh... he just was in the movie.
-Chi Chi was not a super popular girl, alright? She was not a cheetah girl or something like that, but I guess I can let that one go
-Bulma was ok really.
-Did Yamcha fought? No. Why? He just didn't knew how to and he would rather use a gun, AND HE IS NOT SHY TOWARDS WOMEN!!!!
-Wait a second.... where is Puar? I mean Yamcha was there, couldn't you even give him a pet cat?
-Master Roshi was still a pervert, that is all you guys had in your favor. He was not old, he was not a bald person, he had no glasses, he had no pet turtle, no mustache, he didn't even lived on an island... he was just a pervert Chou Yun Fat, that's it
-Piccolo was there because they needed a villian
On to the other crappy things:
-People knew about Namek and shit!
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Master Roshi's master was still alive
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-The Mafuba sucked bit time
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Holy shit the Kame-Hame Ha can heal people!!!
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Gohan dies because his house collapses on him, not bacause Goku goes Oozaru on his ass
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-The Oozaru state is not provoked by full moon but by an eclipse, and guess what? You Don't need a tail to go into Oozaru... Wanna know why? Because Oozaru is no longer a state per se, it's a character who terrorized the Earth with Piccolo before the latter was banished by the Mafuba. So one must ask: What in the hell happened to Saiyajins and their nasty tails?
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Not only did Shen-ron not talked but... well... look for yourselves
That thing is not Shen-ron... Besidesd not being awesomly huge, it is not awesomely awesome.... and look! No black sky, no thunders, no nothing!
-Did I mentioned that Goku is into girls now? And he is a kind of cool guy!
Well... I guess I made my point.
Notice that all my criticism towards the movie it's directed at it due to the fact that I am a hardcore fan, so I hate this adaptation; but had the movie been a perfect adaptation it waould have sucked anyways because the direction sucked, art direction sucked, the music sucked, performances sucked and pretty much everything else sucked too... but that is something Napo will surely talk on his brand new blog. Wont you Napo?
Anyway this movie left me tired and angry so now that I've left steam out, I'll go.
See you later people.
For all those who don't know 20th Century Fox bought the rights to make a Dragon Ball movie. Being an American movie, just like Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within, we knew it was going to suck from day one... but, oh by the Gods, we had no idea it was going to be this bad.... the horror, THE HUMANITY!!!
Lets begin by saying this:
People at Fox, hear me now... Goku never, EVER, cared SHIT about girls! He married Chi Chi because, like many other men, he had no idea what he was getting into!
Jesus-fucking-christ, I understand that you are trying to remake this whole world to make it into a new franchise and stuff but for fucks sake you DO NOT mess with the main character like that!! You wanna make him go to school? Fine! You wanna make him less interested in fighting? Be my guest, but Goku is not a cool guy... he is a silly boy who managed to stay a silly boy no matter how old he got!!! And he cared not about being popular and going to parties!
Everyone else matured and grew up in the course of the story, not Goku... He stayed a kid no matter how old he got or how many kids he had.
On to the other characters:
-Grampa Gohan was... eeeh... he just was in the movie.
-Chi Chi was not a super popular girl, alright? She was not a cheetah girl or something like that, but I guess I can let that one go
-Bulma was ok really.
-Did Yamcha fought? No. Why? He just didn't knew how to and he would rather use a gun, AND HE IS NOT SHY TOWARDS WOMEN!!!!
-Wait a second.... where is Puar? I mean Yamcha was there, couldn't you even give him a pet cat?
-Master Roshi was still a pervert, that is all you guys had in your favor. He was not old, he was not a bald person, he had no glasses, he had no pet turtle, no mustache, he didn't even lived on an island... he was just a pervert Chou Yun Fat, that's it
-Piccolo was there because they needed a villian
On to the other crappy things:
-People knew about Namek and shit!
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Master Roshi's master was still alive
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-The Mafuba sucked bit time
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Holy shit the Kame-Hame Ha can heal people!!!
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Gohan dies because his house collapses on him, not bacause Goku goes Oozaru on his ass
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-The Oozaru state is not provoked by full moon but by an eclipse, and guess what? You Don't need a tail to go into Oozaru... Wanna know why? Because Oozaru is no longer a state per se, it's a character who terrorized the Earth with Piccolo before the latter was banished by the Mafuba. So one must ask: What in the hell happened to Saiyajins and their nasty tails?
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Not only did Shen-ron not talked but... well... look for yourselves
That thing is not Shen-ron... Besidesd not being awesomly huge, it is not awesomely awesome.... and look! No black sky, no thunders, no nothing!-Did I mentioned that Goku is into girls now? And he is a kind of cool guy!
Well... I guess I made my point.
Notice that all my criticism towards the movie it's directed at it due to the fact that I am a hardcore fan, so I hate this adaptation; but had the movie been a perfect adaptation it waould have sucked anyways because the direction sucked, art direction sucked, the music sucked, performances sucked and pretty much everything else sucked too... but that is something Napo will surely talk on his brand new blog. Wont you Napo?
Anyway this movie left me tired and angry so now that I've left steam out, I'll go.
See you later people.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Nakama II
This time I will not be as emotional as last time but that does not mean that I care less about the people that I am about
to talk than the people I talked last 
time, or the people I will talk next time for that matter... It's just a different kind of love.
These people made a difference in my life in a very different way than the girls I spoke about last time, but I wouldn't be me right now if it weren't for them. They were the voice of reason, the player that never missed a new adventure (or the player that got super exited about a new game and never got to play because I could not come up with a decent story), the snack at school, the guy that sheltered me when I had no class and was hot outside, the headbanger next to me, the teacher, the student
but most important: They were, and still are, my friends.
So this post right here is my way of saying "thank you guys for being part of my life and being my friends", and this is my way of saying "I love you guys" without being too emotional.
Of course they know it's them I'm talking about here, and if you are not able to make sense of this post, then you are definitely NOT one of them.
PD: These stupid pictures are against me! They never look as I want them to!!
to talk than the people I talked last 
time, or the people I will talk next time for that matter... It's just a different kind of love.These people made a difference in my life in a very different way than the girls I spoke about last time, but I wouldn't be me right now if it weren't for them. They were the voice of reason, the player that never missed a new adventure (or the player that got super exited about a new game and never got to play because I could not come up with a decent story), the snack at school, the guy that sheltered me when I had no class and was hot outside, the headbanger next to me, the teacher, the student
but most important: They were, and still are, my friends.
So this post right here is my way of saying "thank you guys for being part of my life and being my friends", and this is my way of saying "I love you guys" without being too emotional.Of course they know it's them I'm talking about here, and if you are not able to make sense of this post, then you are definitely NOT one of them.
PD: These stupid pictures are against me! They never look as I want them to!!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Baseball Classic
Definitively the Major League Baseball is the best baseball league in the world, that is why USA have been champions twice.... Yeah right.
Wake up morons, you guys are not the best! You have not won, and not only that: YOU HAVE NOT BEEN IN A FINAL YET! Not only that but have not even been in 3th place and on top of that Venezuela have gotten better standings than the USA in both tournaments.
I could go on and on but I really don't know much about baseball...
Anyway; congratulations Japan, I rooted for you last time and I rooted for you this time. I wanted Venezuela to win but since we got screwed by Korea... GO JAPAAAAAAAN!!!
Wake up morons, you guys are not the best! You have not won, and not only that: YOU HAVE NOT BEEN IN A FINAL YET! Not only that but have not even been in 3th place and on top of that Venezuela have gotten better standings than the USA in both tournaments.
I could go on and on but I really don't know much about baseball...
Anyway; congratulations Japan, I rooted for you last time and I rooted for you this time. I wanted Venezuela to win but since we got screwed by Korea... GO JAPAAAAAAAN!!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
What would it be like...
... to feel your life leave your body?
... to score the winning goal in a FIFA World Cup final match?
... to crash a car head on against a wall?
... to be the last one to laugh?
... to go to a Maid.... oh wait, I did that and it felt awesome!
... to see a girl in black underwear sleep?
... to be played into doing that which you swore you wouldn't... wait.... wait... yeah I remember...been there.
... to get smacked into the floor like a guitar?
... to smack a guitar against the floor?
... to be abducted by aliens?
... to get out of bed and see yourself lying in the bathroom floor?
... if I had not broke my knuckles back then?
... if I had been loved back?
Did I got you to think about at least one of those things?
... to score the winning goal in a FIFA World Cup final match?
... to crash a car head on against a wall?
... to be the last one to laugh?
... to go to a Maid.... oh wait, I did that and it felt awesome!
... to see a girl in black underwear sleep?
... to be played into doing that which you swore you wouldn't... wait.... wait... yeah I remember...been there.
... to get smacked into the floor like a guitar?
... to smack a guitar against the floor?
... to be abducted by aliens?
... to get out of bed and see yourself lying in the bathroom floor?
... if I had not broke my knuckles back then?
... if I had been loved back?
Did I got you to think about at least one of those things?
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Vienna After Sundown
Vienna. 1985. 7pm in a cool March's day. He wakes up.
Black shoulder length hair, black eyes, muscular Caucasian built. Being a light sleeper he always woke when the last ray of light had vanished. He rose from the mere wooden box in which he was lying and instinctively looked around his one bedroom apartment where he lived, or rather where he made lair... Then he felt the hunger.
After inspecting the place he rose to his feet and moved his naked body to the stereo and played his favorite album: Kill'em All by Metallica, then he walked to the only other thing in the place besides the box and the stereo, the fridge. He opened it, it was empty. He thought "Porca miseria" and then talked in a low voice as if scolding himself "You need to be more careful about this....... Merda, I'm hungry"
He slammed the fridge's door closed and walked to the bathroom, got in the shower and quickly he washed his hair. It hasn't grown in years, in fact he had not been sweaty in years, but appearances must be maintained and that's why he washed his hair every night and that's why he wore clothes when he leaved his lair; he cared not about being naked or dirty those things were beyond him, he was more animal than human these days, but then again appearances must be maintained.
Going out the shower he put out some cheap clothes on; a jean, a cheap black t-shirt, biker boots and a leather jacket. He darted out the door and went straight to the nearest bar, it didn't matter that is was a shit hole of a place because the fridge was empty and he was hungry. He went to the counter and sat there minding his own business and nobody paid attention to him, it was like he was not there. But then a girl saw him, or rather he allowed himself to be seen by a girl, and she came to him. Knowing he had no charisma, he always had drugs with him to win over his prey. He went out with the girl, went together into an alley to take a "shortcut" to his place, but he came out of that alley alone. He needed food and money so the police found the girl the next morning, half dead and beaten to a pulp.
After taking care of those 2 issues he went to a very impressive Victorian age mansion that was filled with people that was like him, well only on the outside, he had a completely different perspective on life and, according to his superiors, he was the only one of his kind in town. He had been sent as a spy to investigate on the opposing side and ironically he was charged with tracking his own people. He was a loyal pup, he never gave his brothers up.... unless he needed someone removed of course. As he went inside talked to a couple of fancy dressed gentlemen and then headed to an isolated room, inside there was an extremely beautiful blond woman that had a splendid Victorian age dress on and was staring at the moon from a window.
He sat on a chair and waited a long time, he was used to this although he could not understand it; the moon was beautiful and to him it had certain appeal, but waiting 30 minutes every night for her to stop seeing the moon was stupid. After a while she turned to him and said:
- Well?
He answer in a casual tone -A band of Sabbat anarcs have been spotted around the piers Principessa
- That would be the work of the Sheriff, why are you telling me this?
He took a look at the girl's bodyguard, a huge man with an assault riffle on his arms - I can handle this Principessa, just give me a couple of men. There is no need to worry the good Sheriff with this.
She looked at him and saw ambition. They didn't talked in a short while, finally she said - I see what you are trying to do and quite frankly I like your ambition. Very well, take some of the neonates and "handle this". If you perform well I might reward you
- Grazie.
He got up from his chair and began to walk to the door when he heard her voice once more
- Marko... Fail in this and it will be final death for you, because if they don't kill you I will.
He turned around to face her and smiled while he said - That won't happen Principessa, I still have to kill him so I can't die yet.
Black shoulder length hair, black eyes, muscular Caucasian built. Being a light sleeper he always woke when the last ray of light had vanished. He rose from the mere wooden box in which he was lying and instinctively looked around his one bedroom apartment where he lived, or rather where he made lair... Then he felt the hunger.
After inspecting the place he rose to his feet and moved his naked body to the stereo and played his favorite album: Kill'em All by Metallica, then he walked to the only other thing in the place besides the box and the stereo, the fridge. He opened it, it was empty. He thought "Porca miseria" and then talked in a low voice as if scolding himself "You need to be more careful about this....... Merda, I'm hungry"
He slammed the fridge's door closed and walked to the bathroom, got in the shower and quickly he washed his hair. It hasn't grown in years, in fact he had not been sweaty in years, but appearances must be maintained and that's why he washed his hair every night and that's why he wore clothes when he leaved his lair; he cared not about being naked or dirty those things were beyond him, he was more animal than human these days, but then again appearances must be maintained.
Going out the shower he put out some cheap clothes on; a jean, a cheap black t-shirt, biker boots and a leather jacket. He darted out the door and went straight to the nearest bar, it didn't matter that is was a shit hole of a place because the fridge was empty and he was hungry. He went to the counter and sat there minding his own business and nobody paid attention to him, it was like he was not there. But then a girl saw him, or rather he allowed himself to be seen by a girl, and she came to him. Knowing he had no charisma, he always had drugs with him to win over his prey. He went out with the girl, went together into an alley to take a "shortcut" to his place, but he came out of that alley alone. He needed food and money so the police found the girl the next morning, half dead and beaten to a pulp.
After taking care of those 2 issues he went to a very impressive Victorian age mansion that was filled with people that was like him, well only on the outside, he had a completely different perspective on life and, according to his superiors, he was the only one of his kind in town. He had been sent as a spy to investigate on the opposing side and ironically he was charged with tracking his own people. He was a loyal pup, he never gave his brothers up.... unless he needed someone removed of course. As he went inside talked to a couple of fancy dressed gentlemen and then headed to an isolated room, inside there was an extremely beautiful blond woman that had a splendid Victorian age dress on and was staring at the moon from a window.
He sat on a chair and waited a long time, he was used to this although he could not understand it; the moon was beautiful and to him it had certain appeal, but waiting 30 minutes every night for her to stop seeing the moon was stupid. After a while she turned to him and said:
- Well?
He answer in a casual tone -A band of Sabbat anarcs have been spotted around the piers Principessa
- That would be the work of the Sheriff, why are you telling me this?
He took a look at the girl's bodyguard, a huge man with an assault riffle on his arms - I can handle this Principessa, just give me a couple of men. There is no need to worry the good Sheriff with this.
She looked at him and saw ambition. They didn't talked in a short while, finally she said - I see what you are trying to do and quite frankly I like your ambition. Very well, take some of the neonates and "handle this". If you perform well I might reward you
- Grazie.
He got up from his chair and began to walk to the door when he heard her voice once more
- Marko... Fail in this and it will be final death for you, because if they don't kill you I will.
He turned around to face her and smiled while he said - That won't happen Principessa, I still have to kill him so I can't die yet.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Time for you to meet.....
sex MACHINEGUNS
This guys made it's debut in 1998, although they've been around since 1996, and have gone through 3 break ups as band members have left the band later to be replaced. The orinial squad consisted of Anchang, Sussy, Noisy and Speed Star Sypan Joe. Joe had to leave the group in 1999 and they replaced him Clutch.J.Himawari. In 2001 Sussy left and was replaced by Circuit.V.Panther.
In 2003, the group disbanded with this lineup. and then reform in 2004 with a slightly modified lineup; Noisy for Samurai W. Kenjilaw and bringing back Speed Star Sypan Joe.
In 2006, breakup would strike the group again. but in 2007 Anchang would once again reform sex MACHINEHGUNS, but with a brand new lineup made of himself, Ryotatsu and Keichi, with the help of support member Shingo* as a bassist
Here is a compilation of videos taken from YouTube. I tried to show all of the members in the videos. As you will see, this guys have stayed true to their style...and needless to say, their videos are very funny in a stupid kind of way.
PD: I've updated the other Time for you to meet entries
Hanabi-la Daikaiten - 1998
S.H.R (Sexy Hero Revolution) - 2001
Soko ni Anata Ga - 2002
Yonaoshi. Good Vibration - 2002
Aijin 28 - 2005
Hitoduma Killer - 2008
This guys made it's debut in 1998, although they've been around since 1996, and have gone through 3 break ups as band members have left the band later to be replaced. The orinial squad consisted of Anchang, Sussy, Noisy and Speed Star Sypan Joe. Joe had to leave the group in 1999 and they replaced him Clutch.J.Himawari. In 2001 Sussy left and was replaced by Circuit.V.Panther.
In 2003, the group disbanded with this lineup. and then reform in 2004 with a slightly modified lineup; Noisy for Samurai W. Kenjilaw and bringing back Speed Star Sypan Joe.
In 2006, breakup would strike the group again. but in 2007 Anchang would once again reform sex MACHINEHGUNS, but with a brand new lineup made of himself, Ryotatsu and Keichi, with the help of support member Shingo* as a bassist
Here is a compilation of videos taken from YouTube. I tried to show all of the members in the videos. As you will see, this guys have stayed true to their style...and needless to say, their videos are very funny in a stupid kind of way.
PD: I've updated the other Time for you to meet entries
Hanabi-la Daikaiten - 1998
S.H.R (Sexy Hero Revolution) - 2001
Soko ni Anata Ga - 2002
Yonaoshi. Good Vibration - 2002
Aijin 28 - 2005
Hitoduma Killer - 2008
Sunday, January 11, 2009
It's been TOO long!
Hello children, welcome back and get ready for a lesson on life
We all saw "Click" right? If not, then you should... But the point is: I want a remote like that.
Why?
-Do I want to control life as the dude did on the movie? No.
-Do I want to fast forward everything boring/annoying? No!
Then why guAji? Why do you want a remote like that? Easy.. In fact, I'll answer that question with more questions
- Have the TV ever did something wrong? Nope.
- Let's say you are watching a game... Does it change the channel so you can't watch the game? Never.
I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point.
TVs are the most well behaved thing in your house! If you yell they don't tell you to shut up, If you are tired of the TV you just turn it off, it doesn't criticize you, If you are bored well the TV is there for you! The TV rules! Why? Because it comes with a remote...
Imagine that you could just turn your father off when he comes yelling and being obnoxious when he knows you have a migraine... Imagine you could set a timer on yourself! Say good bye to waking up late or having trouble going to sleep!
People HAVE GOT TO be more like TVs!
And you know what? I have been keeping it quiet, for the last year I have said nothing, but enough is enough... And I don't care what you think! I'll complain my ass off if I want to....
I bet you are wishing to have a remote to mute me or something, huh?
...
...
...
...
...
That felt good
We all saw "Click" right? If not, then you should... But the point is: I want a remote like that.
Why?
-Do I want to control life as the dude did on the movie? No.
-Do I want to fast forward everything boring/annoying? No!
Then why guAji? Why do you want a remote like that? Easy.. In fact, I'll answer that question with more questions
- Have the TV ever did something wrong? Nope.
- Let's say you are watching a game... Does it change the channel so you can't watch the game? Never.
I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point.
TVs are the most well behaved thing in your house! If you yell they don't tell you to shut up, If you are tired of the TV you just turn it off, it doesn't criticize you, If you are bored well the TV is there for you! The TV rules! Why? Because it comes with a remote...
Imagine that you could just turn your father off when he comes yelling and being obnoxious when he knows you have a migraine... Imagine you could set a timer on yourself! Say good bye to waking up late or having trouble going to sleep!
People HAVE GOT TO be more like TVs!
And you know what? I have been keeping it quiet, for the last year I have said nothing, but enough is enough... And I don't care what you think! I'll complain my ass off if I want to....
I bet you are wishing to have a remote to mute me or something, huh?
...
...
...
...
...
That felt good
Thursday, January 01, 2009
The Birth of a Sworn Enemy
Kakita Toru was strolling through the gardens that night, his mind was disturbed by everything that has happened that day and while he was pondering, trying to reach out to his ancestors to guide him, the most unlikely of sounds came to his ears; he heard a woman crying.
He saw her, beautiful as she was, leaning on a nearby tree; she had not seen him, so he came near her just to realize he knew her very well; she was a Clan mate, they had gone to the same dojo and had participated on the tournament, and they both had failed in what they were trained to be the best at: a duel.
He had been victim of the machinations of the scoundrel known as Bayushi Bijomaru, and he knew that the reason why she had fainted and had to forfeit the match had been Bijomaru's work too although he could not prove it, however there was nothing he could do without risking his own honor. Looking at her he came close, moving with the grace only a Crane can move with, and she did not notice him until he was maybe too close... and she turned, her make up ruined because of the tears, but still she was beautiful... He reached out for her, but before he could touch her she spoke still crying: "Toru-San, please stop... You know of the oath I've made before the tournament and you know a Samurai's words and his actions are one and the same."
A Samurai's words and his actions are one and the same. To 'promise' would be redundant. That is what Akodo wrote, that is Makoto, complete sincerity. His heart was grieving that night and the sight of her only made that grief deeper, there was nothing he could do and he knew it... so he left her saying only this: "When we meet again, try to see me as you saw him who did nothing for you"
The next morning a handmaid enter her master's room and what she saw was nothing more than an oath fulfilled... And the The Laughing Carp Inn became know for yet another sad story; a beautiful youth, a promising Samurai and the love of Kakita Toru had committed sepukku in her room while everyone else slept peacefully.
He saw her, beautiful as she was, leaning on a nearby tree; she had not seen him, so he came near her just to realize he knew her very well; she was a Clan mate, they had gone to the same dojo and had participated on the tournament, and they both had failed in what they were trained to be the best at: a duel.
He had been victim of the machinations of the scoundrel known as Bayushi Bijomaru, and he knew that the reason why she had fainted and had to forfeit the match had been Bijomaru's work too although he could not prove it, however there was nothing he could do without risking his own honor. Looking at her he came close, moving with the grace only a Crane can move with, and she did not notice him until he was maybe too close... and she turned, her make up ruined because of the tears, but still she was beautiful... He reached out for her, but before he could touch her she spoke still crying: "Toru-San, please stop... You know of the oath I've made before the tournament and you know a Samurai's words and his actions are one and the same."
A Samurai's words and his actions are one and the same. To 'promise' would be redundant. That is what Akodo wrote, that is Makoto, complete sincerity. His heart was grieving that night and the sight of her only made that grief deeper, there was nothing he could do and he knew it... so he left her saying only this: "When we meet again, try to see me as you saw him who did nothing for you"
The next morning a handmaid enter her master's room and what she saw was nothing more than an oath fulfilled... And the The Laughing Carp Inn became know for yet another sad story; a beautiful youth, a promising Samurai and the love of Kakita Toru had committed sepukku in her room while everyone else slept peacefully.
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