Vienna, on a particularly cold Christmas Eve

Vienna, December 24, 1999.

Around midnight a man sat in front of his desk reading a book, a collection of works by Mister Edgar Allan Poe. He pulled his long, wavy hair back with one hand while still holding the book with the other. He had just re-read one of his favorites: The Raven. And that last part still rang heavy in his mind.

"And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!"

This man was cursed. Cursed to live forever in darkness, to drink only blood, to eat only ashes, to always be as he was at death. Never dying, ever living, to walk forever in darkness until the last days. This was a minor problem to him, throughout his unlife he had taken advantage of his condition; but sometimes he hits a low point and angst and anxiety takes hold of him, and a shadow is cast over him that made him be aware just how vastly empty he felt.

That was absurd. He was in a position of certain power, Sheriff of Vienna; he had servants. This was a man that had fought and clawed his way to get there, his enemies always spoke his name half whispered... He was feared. But tonight, this monster was the one that was afraid.

"What are you doing?" he said softly, frowning, and then he heard a noise. Footsteps. Someone was coming. He stood very still. He knew that if he did, whomever walked in the room would not notice him, and his eyes turned like those of a beast, and the darkness became clear as daylight to him. The door opened, but it was not gang members send to kill him. It was a just little girl carrying a poorly wrapped present and a woman; Annie and Dianna. His progeny. He relaxed, let himself be seen by them and the little girl ran towards him, tripped and began to fall... But he wouldn't let that happen, not to her. He moved with supernatural speed and caught her before she hit the ground.

-"For fuck sake, Annie...!" He loved that girl like a daughter, but he was a little rough with words.

Annie just smiled, handed him the present and told him, in the worst Italian you will ever hear -"Buon Natale, Marko!" all the while smiling like a golden haired angel.

The man look at the woman, they had known each other long enough to know what the other was thinking without even speaking... This, all this was the little girl's idea, and there was nothing nobody could have done or said to stopped her from getting that Kittie CD, a more or less mediocre band "But they are all girls, and Marko likes girls". Those were the words she told Dianna when she tried to convince her it was a bad idea. 

The man saw this in the woman's eyes. He realized he was still holding the book in his left hand. He placed it on the floor as he rubbed his eyes with his right hand fingers. Then he looked back at the little girl and smiled as he took the present from her hands and softly said to her -"Grazie!. You guys are truly something."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you can understand what I mean by this, then you know I wrote this for you.

Either way, Merry Christmas all.

Trippy trip to Noken 5

Last Friday I left for Caracas to take The Nihongo Nouryoku Shiken, meaning The Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Most of you already knew this, and although it was overall a good trip, I'm gonna rant a bit about our getting there and coming back home experiences.

Friday. The day that we left.
Nothing much to say here to be completely honest. The bus was delayed for about 30 to 45 minutes, but who really gives a fuck, right? I mean, I was with friends. Some of them I knew really well, some of them I knew right there, but one good thing about GOEN Maracaibo is that they're all good people there.
So the bus finally came, and we finally left. Got stuck at Rafael Urdaneta Bridge for like an hour, you know, GNB "doing their job".... Meaning one of them checking if he could hitch a ride with us. And he did! Turns out he was a nice guy, it seems. Offered help to guide people in Caracas once we got there and everything.
End of day one.

Saturday. The day that we arrived.
It was going all too good, we had fun, we joked, some people studied, I scared Panda-Senpai and Luci-Senpai... NI KAI!!!.... And then the bus died on us around... I don't know, early morning. It just died. At least he passed away peacefully (you will understand that joke later on). So, for what it seemed like an eternity, but was maybe an hour tops, he driver tried to bring the bus back to life, but to no avail. So he called in for back up, since we where actually pretty close to Caracas. Maybe 40 minutes away. We were talking and, we've all done road trips in that same company many times before and no one had never had anything like that happened before... Except Diego-Senpai, who said that this always happened to him. So we decided it was his fault and proceeded to joke about it for the rest of the trip. What we did not know at the moment was that the joke would intensify later on.
Well about an hour went by while the other bus came along. It finally came, we got up and resumed our trip. Got to Caracas at about 11am when we should have arrived around 8 or 9. I stayed with my cousin for the weekend so I parted ways with GOEN there. I spent the day with my cousin and his wife (I love this two very much, and not because they let me stay there) and went to a birthday party that night. Pretty much and uneventful night, except for the fact that I saw a crazy cat lady. The woman had like 30 cats or so. The smell was unbearable.
End of day two.

Sunday. Nihongo Nouryoku Shiken.
Got up. Got ready. Had a light breakfast. Got moving. Got there.
The anticipation was killing me, although it was good to meet with the other guys that had not taken the bus ride with us, like both Luis-Senpai, Ari-Chan, Carlos and Steph-Senpai. By the way, a joke. I had this pin on my Iron Maiden cap, it reads "I'm Fucking Metal" and every time I get the chance I joke with it, something like "What, you thought I wouldn't do it? Bitch, please! What does it say on my pin?". Well I was really freaking out and Luci came and said "Enough, what does it say on your pin?"... So I had o cut the crap.
Anyway, the test started. Noken 5 is divided into 3 parts. 1st part was pretty standard stuff, vocabulary, kanji. Got a few wrong, but overall I did ok. Then came the grammar. It was hellish. The stuff of nightmares. A little bathroom break and then the final part: Audio. Fucking nailed it. I really have no idea of knowing just exactly how well I did because I do not know how the examination actually works, but I think I got it. I hope I got it. I better get it.
Then I parted with the guys from GOEN, went to have lunch with friends from school and with my cousin, who by the way went to the same school ad I did. We had a great time at this BBQ joint, "Llanero"Style. It was good and cheap =D. Had a great time with them, but time grew short, so we went to get my stuff, I took the 3 S's (The shit, the shave and the shower) and on to the bus station. Got there, said my farewell to my cousin Martin and Vivi, his wife. Got everything ready and then the journey back home begun.
End of day Three.

Monday. They day all Hell broke loose.
I'll be honest with you: I was having a bad trip. I was feeling nauseous, couldn't sleep, but hey! Look on the bright side, right? We talked a lot, joked a lot and despite the fact that I wasn't feeling good it was an Ok trip. We were making good time and all. Then, at about, I don't know... 5am maybe.. less than 3 hours away from home, the driver made a sudden trun. I had to hold on to something because it was really sudden, then it felt like one of the tires had exploded, another quick trun trying not to loose control, and then the bus died. Most of the passengers woke up and we started to blame the thing on Diego-Senpai, of course. The driver started the bus again, we moved a little bit and then we stoped for a while. Afetr some 20 minutes, the driver came up and told us what happened: we had hit 2 horses that were asleep on the middle of road.
You read it right: TWO fucking horses.
Luckily enough, no one was hurt. Except the horses, who did not died as peacefully as the bus on our way to Caracas.
So we had to head back to a truck stop and stayed there for a long while. The driver called the company and they said they were sending another bus. The problem is they had no back up buses, so we really had no clue when we were gonna get "rescued". The jokes on Diego-Senpai's bad luck grew to a point where I didn't find it funny, but there were two jokes that killed me:
1.- Miguel said: If we got on a plane with you, it is most likely that we hit a Pegasus in mid air
2.- Panda-Senpai bought Diego a wooden toy horse. Lol

We were fucking stranded there and then the driver told us to get in the bus and try to make it to Maracaibo. Unlikely, since the windshield was broken and the suspension all fucked up, some one (meaning the police or something) was gonna stop us. And indeed they did. So after hours of waiting finally the bus company paid these guys that own small buses to get us here. And I mean San Jacinto like buses. It took 2 of them to get us all moving along. I took the second one with my closest friends, and around 10am, maybe 10:30am, we were back on the road. From there on it was uneventful and boring. We were tired, spent, and a bit grumpy. But our spirits were still up. Always look on the bright side of life. We got to Maracaibo at around 2:00 - 2:30pm, depending on which bus you took. Said our goodbyes and went home to eat, sleep and tell a lot of stories. I was gonna meet some friends for dinner... but guess what? You're right. Lights out. So screw dinner. But that my friends, is something you can read about on the news.
End of day Four.

Thus ends my, very heartfelt, story about my trip to take the Nihongo Nouryoku Shiken. I hope you enjoyed. To conclude, I would like to quote a band which I'm not very fond of, but a line from one of their songs fit here perfectly.

"Through the fire and the flames we carry on!"

Good night, everyone.

Meh...

Someone told me once to tidy up my room... Well actually a lot of people have told me that, hell my mom says that to me every other day, but the point is that this girl, a friend of mine mind you, told me to tidy up my room because your room reflects how you're feeling inside.

Well inside must be pretty fucked up then.

The only problem with that is that, for something to be fucked up, there HAS TO be something. Otherwise it's just nothing.... Right, guys? Get it? Nothing?... Heheps heheps... Erm...
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that these days there's this emptiness that fills me, however stupid and illogical that may sound. There's nothing. There, where a lot once was, nothing but shadows trying to hold on to some half forgotten identity remain.

You see, the older I get, the more things I have to give up, that's life. But I'm not an old man, no matter how much my friends joke about it. I'm only 30, and already have given up so much. And for what point and purpose? Maybe it's the beer talking, or maybe it's because I am so goddamn nervous about the stupid test I have to take this Sunday, or maybe it's everything that's been happening in this spec of land we call a country... But this sucks.

And yeah, I just quoted Rocky, and if you thinking about giving me an inspirational quote, like "It ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"... That's crap. I love those movies man, except for Rocky V of course... Piece of shit movie... But let's be realistic. Yeah, I can keep moving forward. I have shown you I can, man. The problem is the same problem that have been and the same problem that will ever be: Is it worth it?

I have no answer for that.

Politics

Let me just be clear from the get go: I HATE POLITICS. I do, I really do; there is nothing that makes my rage go up as high and as quick as politics.... Well, maybe Emos, but they're not a problem these days.
...
...
...
Stupid Emos.
...
...
...
Anyway. On to the point.

The other day my dad was talking about the situation that's been going on here in the last few days, the whole ransacking shit. Some say it's this guy's fault other say it's the other guy's fault and to be honest I couldn't care less who's fault it is; bottom line is, some dude came up on TV and said "People, go nuts" and people went nuts. Now I know for a fact that merchants are making less money than they are expending, IF THEY MAKE MONEY AT ALL, because some people are just stealing shit! And my dad comes up and says, all triumphant, all filled with pride, like some super hero just got here to rescue us "The president of Fedecamaras asked the government to show record of whom they have delivered the dollars to", because, you know, if they got their merchandise at a "fair price" they should be selling at a "fair prize"... That's the government's excuse for all this; and if they happen to be making this up, that means they lose, right? I said to him "What does it matters if they have compelling evidence of everything they say the government have done wrong?". He just got mad a me and called me a pessimist, that we have to believe that something will happen. I've got news for you:

YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN SINCE 1998!

And nothing's happened, and nothing will EVER happen. No one will do anything. And you're stuck with this dude until A.- They all magically die... Unlikely, B.- Someone pulls a coup SUCCESSFULLY, C.- All hell breaks lose, or D.- We get a visit from Uncle Sam.

Like I told you before, I hate politics, all of it! At least the politics I am accustomed to... meaning they way they do politics here. Maybe politicians in other countries do their job well, but not here. I definitely don't like the guys in charge but I DO NOT like the other guys either. They're weak. They call themselves "opposing party", but it's more like "whining about others and do nothing party". "Oh, but, guaji... We want peace, and protect lives and all that hippie crap shit, not all out mayhem" Open your goddamn eyes. We have no peace, people die everyday... A LOT... we have none of that hippie crap, but instead we have all out mayhem. So what are we really protecting?

People. Lets face it. They all suck. They ALL have sucked. I mean, I only 30 years old, right? Some people (mainly old farts) may even call me a "kid". But I have a dad, and a mom, and I used to have a lot of grandparents, although now there's only one left alive. And my mom and dad have uncles and aunties... and I have known all of them, and their friends! I have sat down and talk to them. Old people. People that's 70 and 80 years old. And they have never talked nicely about ANY GOVERNMENT. In fact the last time I heard someone say something like "in those times, you could sleep with the front door open" or "people lived good" or "Venezuela moved forward economically" or "we had a great infrastructure development in that time", they were talking about Marcos Perez Jimenez.

And he was a dictator.

So
Fucking
Sad

So. I've spoken my mind. Next time you're feeling like telling me "Maduro rocks" or "Maduro sucks", just don't, man. I hate politics. You don't see me telling religious people to quit their religion because I dislike it. You don't see me telling my brother how fucking awesome I think Metal is, because I know he doesn't like Metal. So please, PLEASE, do not talk to me about politics. Wanna write about it, do it! I'll just don't read it and we can all be happy. But one thing is to post something somewhere, and another VERY DIFFERENT thing is to sat down next to me and start a conversation saying "So, how about that Daka situation?". Don't do that, please. There's a lot of other interesting things to talk about.

Thank you in advance.

Yours truly:
HeavyMetalGuaji.

Madonna

There is a guy I'm starting to really dislike, and I mean REALLY dislike. It's not like "Shut the fuck up, dude" or "Go fuck a goat, man"... No no, it's more like "We do not speak the name of the devil in this house of god" kind of stuff.

I met the guy at a friend's birthday party, and let me tell you something: I had heard stories of a douchebag so great that knows no boundaries; that this physic plane of existence in which we live cannot contain his douchbagness... But I was skeptic. Even when my viking-like life long friend told me that this guy was unbearable, I remained a skeptic. Guess what? The guy is not as much a douchebag as my friend told me... He's worse.

He is so powerfully mamahuevo, that I have not to deal with the guy to automatically be annoyed by him. Believe me, I have crossed like 3 sentences with him, and I can't stand his comments. You know what the problem is? When you're dead, you don't know that you are dead... It is only difficult for the people that's around you (or rather "were" around you), and it is the same thing with stupidity.

I was willing to let go, just complain to those that would find it funny until it just gets old and shit, but this morning he said something that exceeded my expectations. A girl I know just got surgery, she had too much of a "condition" (tee hee) and that was causing her a problem, so she took care of that. Now this whimpering simian comes and says that it's her fault, that the problem is not biological in nature but is an attitude problem, and that she should have not agreed to the surgery because, in a way, it is offensive. BTW, I'm not saying what exactly happened unless I'm given permission to write about it; in the end I'm here to trash someone and that is not her, but him... HIM!!! Dude, 100.000 sperm, and you were the fastest?!.

This guy... Jesus... I mean, seriously...

I'm gonna be a good guy. We have a problem. I'm gonna do as YOU would, and use my will to end this problem. This is me doing an attitude change, so that we all can get better.

Lyrics? Of course!
世直し - Good Vibration

お前に仕事は無い。いけてる仕事は無い。儲かる仕事はない。 
今時、仕事は無い。 
両親、苦労で出た大学も、無駄、無駄、無駄使い! 
解らないのか?バカ息子。無駄、無駄、無駄使い! 
こいつの痛みを思い知れ!電源不要のエレキ技 

電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
痺れる股間に衝撃波 
電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
電気アン・マー 

お前に恋人なし。素敵な恋愛なし。棚から牡丹餅なし。 
ハートを磨く気なし。 
大金、叩いてエステに通う、無駄、無駄、無駄使い! 
解らないのか?バカ娘。無駄、無駄、無駄使い! 
こいつの痛みを思い知れ!電源不要のエレキ技 

電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
痺れる股間に衝撃波 
電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
電気アン・マー 

無し、無し。 

愛する気持ちが無い。感謝の気持ちが無い。反省する気も無い。 
トイレにペーパー無し。 
地球の温度が上がってる。無駄、無駄、無駄使い! 
解らないのか?バカヤロウ。無駄、無駄、無駄使い! 
こいつの痛みを思い知れ!電源不要のエレキ技 

電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
痺れる股間に衝撃波 
電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
痺れる股間に衝撃波 
電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
痺れる股間に衝撃波 
電気アン・マー、電気アン・マー、 
電気アン・マー 無し、無し。 

"I know the type"

I will start this in the same way that H.P. Lovecraft began The Thing on The Doorway, with a sentence that I will write again at the end of this post.

So let it be written, let it be known: You DO NOT know me. You never did. I mean, how could you have ever known me?

When I was living in Caracas I met this girl right, she was a decent person, cute and everything; but she had one problem: a closed mind. A closed mind should be considered a terminal disease. A terminal disease stops you from living, I mean, how the hell are you gonna live your live strapped to a bunch of cables and shit? It's sad, it's harsh, but we know it to be true. That is why people sign those DNR things! And so, in a way, a closed mind stop us from living.

When I met her, this girl thought she knew me. She took one look at me and thought: "metal head, likes video games, likes anime... He's nice, but I know the type". Well, that pissed me off a little bit, to be honest, but I didn't care what she thought of me so fuck her and her friends, whom we called "Yupies" because of some weird caraque~an reason that escapes my understanding. But let's imagine for a moment, if you will, that the humble guy writing this crap right here DID care for the girl, what do you think would have happened? I'll tell you, she would have said something like "it's not gonna work". Everyone is entitled to their opinion, that would have been hers and my answer would have been "if we do not try, we'll never know". It could have been awful, or I could have been the love of her life, and she missed on the opportunity to be with a guy that would have made her happy in ways that no one else could have and with whom she could have lived the most wonderful of experiences.

See my point now? No? Let's try this another way.

I was in a long term relationship with a girl some years afterwards, we hurt each other like crazy, we broke up after 4 years, but in the end I regret NOTHING. Even with all the problems we could have had, those 4 years taught me more than any other 4 years of my life. I had a great time, I loved her like I have never loved anyone and, even though we went through a lot, I felt alive. I could have said "She's nice, but I know the type", and I would have passed on 4 great years.

If you're not getting it you're just playing dumb.

Why am I writing this? As usual, I need to get some shit off my chest because of some recent stuff. I would tell her straight but she's too stubborn and would not get it. BELIEVE ME, I have tried. I met you, I let you in, I grew up by doing so. I'm not the same guy. I know now that I can be more tolerant than I thought I could. I know that I am willing to do a lot more for that person, not because she ask, but because I want to, because I can. I got to know you! In fact, I wish you would have let me in... But you didn't.

So let it be written, let it be known: You DO NOT know me. You never did. I mean, how could you have ever known me?

It's ok. I'm not mad, you can do whatever you want. It's a free country... mostly.

Mira vos...

Siempre he sido un carajo con unos puntos de vista bastante fuertes, y con esos puntos de vista he generado, con algo de frecuencia, controversia. Durante mucho tiempo lo hice en este blog, que quedo en el olvido en vista de que me desanime porque deje de tener feedback de mis lectores, pero hacia mucho que no decía, al publico en general algo como lo que dije ayer con lo del sitio/botón para señalar las cosas que no nos gustan.

Por que escribo esto? Fácil:
Después de pensarlo un poco, me he dado cuenta que me gusta generar un poco de caos. Me gusta hablar lo que me de la gana y después que me hagan comentarios al respecto. Si resulta que estas equivocado, me gusta demostrártelo y ponerte en tu sitio; y si el equivocado soy yo, bueno dímelo, carajo, porque si no me estoy dando cuenta, como me hago mejor persona entonces?

Recientemente me uní a facebook, y voy a intentar usar eso, como una herramienta para impulsar esto otro. A ver que tal me va, a ver si llego a esos 30 - 35 post anuales a los que llegue en algún momento.

Bien, si estas acá y te sientes curioso, y estas pensando "de que carajos habla Guaji?", quédate un rato y rato y revisa entradas antiguas; eso si, la GRAN mayoría lo vas a encontrar en ingles y mi ortografía no era tan buena en aquel entonces, así que perdón de ante mano, pero mejoro mucho y muy rápido! Eso si.
Recomiendo http://aodhide.blogspot.com/search/label/That%20Piss%20Me porque eran los mas comentados.

Anyhow...
See you around, I hope.

Mid Season Finale - The Duel

Tsuma, 1019. On a cold spring night.

Doji Satsume, The Emerald Champion, was known as The Grinning Crane. He once was with The Emperor's Guard and, during a ninja incursion, he got a scar that goes from his left eyebrow to the corner of his mouth while protecting The Hantei. As the wound healed, it contracted the skin of his face leaving him with a permanent half-grin. A constant reminder, for him and anyone else, of his loyalty to The Emerald Throne.

Lately, tensions between his Clan, which he still led, and the Lion, and his duties as Emerald Champion have left him to rely more and more on his son, Hoturi, despite their relationship not being the best. But tonight he was faced with something he could not pass onto Hoturi, something that could increase the tension between the aforementioned Clans: Ichiro Akimoto, The Champion of the Badger Clan was slain. And the only witness was a boy who had not gone through gempukku: Bayushi Sugai, Bayushi Kachiko's nephew.

Just moments ago Sugai had given his testimony, claiming that one of Ichiro's retinue was an infiltrated ninja that had slain him and his yojimbos. "Fortunately, I was drawn to the sounds of battle, took a sword from one of the fallen, chased the traitor and killed him". With no other witnesses to counter his story and evidence of a ninja attack in the corpses The Emerald Champion praised Sugai for his actions although it may be clear to many in the room, Otaku Shiko included, that Sugai was not telling everything or was involved in the murder somehow. But Rokugani justice concerns itself with direct evidence an eyewitness accounts, not suspicion and deduction. So everyone stood quiet... Everyone but Otaku Shiko.

"You cannot leave yet, he IS the killer! You all know this to be truth!" Those had been Otaku Shiko's words to Doji stasume. The room was silent as a crypt. All eyes were locked onto Otaku Shiko. Only the hiss of The Emerald Champion's breath could be heard as he tried to contain his anger and decide the fate of the young and impetuous samurai-ko. Sugai, however broke the silence "You have insulted the honor of My Lady Kachiko and mine!! Such a stain can only be cleansed by your death."

Silence. Then a nod from the Emerald Champion and the duel was sanctioned.

Satsume left the room before it happened and left Bayushi Shoju, Akodo Toturi and Doji Hoturi as witness. Otaku Shiko and her companions were shocked when they saw students of the Kakita Iaiutsu school bring in beautiful katanas as they realized how serious this matter was.

Shiko was nervous. She wasn't expecting this. She was young, inexperienced, and she had made a terrible etiquette breach, but she meant no disrespect; at least not to Lady Kachiko anyways. But now she could barely grasp the severity of her mistake. Both Sugai and Shiko took the swords, stood in front of each other but only she bowed. Both took the dueling stance. Kitsu Mitsuko saw the flaw on Shiko's technique just an instant before the duelists drew their blades. Saugai bested his opponent with ease, but she did not die with a single stroke. Shiko fell to the floor with tears in her eyes as Sugai walked towards her and slowly raised his sword. With a swift motion he cut off her head.

He took a cloth from his pocket, cleaned his sword and respectfully gave it back to the students that brought it. He bowed to the witnesses and glared at Shiko's companions as he went out. The first witness to leave was Bayushi Shoju, Hoturi looked at Toturi for a moment and then they both stood up and left, leaving Shiko's companions shocked, and alone in the room.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's note:
Merry belated Xmas and a Happy New Year to all my players, this is for them. They are:
Hiruma Wakukomaru, Doji Ishiko, Kakita Moriko, Togashi Bakatono, Akodo Makushi, Kitsu Mitsuko, Asako Maori, Isawa Hikari, Shosuro Yukiko, Iuchi Temujin and Tsuruchi Kayo.

You say you love the game and you say thanks to your Game Master, but the truth is that without you guys I'm just a geek with some weird books. So thank YOU.

Truly yours:
-Arashi no HeavyMetalGuaji-