conflict?

well this sucks! right now i face a very hard time in my life, and im not talking about a bad hair day nor a lousy week; im talking about a long time, like 6 months or so; you know those times when nothing seems worth doing and you start looking for something to hold on, something that makes you feel better... well it's going shitty for me, why you ask? here is why:
1.- the music no longer relaxes me
2.- role playing games no longer sets me free
3.- i no longer enjoy spending time doing nothing in my room
then you seek people that could make you fel better and there of course are your friends; but you really want something more than a friend... someone who understans you (sex is always welcomed but that is not what im talking about) there are three important people in my life, 3 people that i would die for no questions asked; actually there were 4 but, since the teacher doesn't seem to care im not counting her in.
the fisrt one is a cousin, i love her to death, but she lives in a different country, so sadly i have to say that she can't be there for me right now
the second one is a former neighbor; i used to live in another city and thats where i met her; but she is moving to england so... one less shoulder for me
and last but not least is a classmate, but she is out of my life thanks to my stupidity and my lack of faith in what could have been beautiful
so to sum... im all by myself...well now that this girly time is over, lets go back to being the weird dude we all enjoy... today's special are kung-pow and lots of stewed beef on rice




... shine kudasai

hey...

it´s been a week since that day... i know many of you dont understand what im talking about... but that´s ok, i only want those who are really close to me to know, and they will get the message Im very confused right know, the only thing for sure right now is the feelings that i have for a certain teacher i know of, and those feeling are not about to change... the only way i can think to describe them is that song from X-Japan, silent jelously "Take me back to my memory, to the dream Silent jelously, dont you leave me alone i am fading into sadness, killme love" although i know this is not going to happen so i might as well leave that alone and think of something else to kill some time... like this blog PD: funny, i remember i was singing to that song in my car and then you hopped in and said "i would never do that"... oh well

well...

i started this thing so i could have something to do when im doing nothing at home, but now that i dont have internet since my computer broke i guess there wont be much activity arround here so my advice is "go somewhere else, the interenet is big"
and to those who want to hear, or read, from me... well, stay tunned... but i don´t promise anything