Dragon Ball Evolution

WARNING: Heavy spoilers... not that it matters, because it's a very bad movie.

For all those who don't know 20th Century Fox bought the rights to make a Dragon Ball movie. Being an American movie, just like Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within, we knew it was going to suck from day one... but, oh by the Gods, we had no idea it was going to be this bad.... the horror, THE HUMANITY!!!

Lets begin by saying this:
People at Fox, hear me now... Goku never, EVER, cared SHIT about girls! He married Chi Chi because, like many other men, he had no idea what he was getting into!
Jesus-fucking-christ, I understand that you are trying to remake this whole world to make it into a new franchise and stuff but for fucks sake you DO NOT mess with the main character like that!! You wanna make him go to school? Fine! You wanna make him less interested in fighting? Be my guest, but Goku is not a cool guy... he is a silly boy who managed to stay a silly boy no matter how old he got!!! And he cared not about being popular and going to parties!
Everyone else matured and grew up in the course of the story, not Goku... He stayed a kid no matter how old he got or how many kids he had.

On to the other characters:
-Grampa Gohan was... eeeh... he just was in the movie.
-Chi Chi was not a super popular girl, alright? She was not a cheetah girl or something like that, but I guess I can let that one go
-Bulma was ok really.
-Did Yamcha fought? No. Why? He just didn't knew how to and he would rather use a gun, AND HE IS NOT SHY TOWARDS WOMEN!!!!
-Wait a second.... where is Puar? I mean Yamcha was there, couldn't you even give him a pet cat?
-Master Roshi was still a pervert, that is all you guys had in your favor. He was not old, he was not a bald person, he had no glasses, he had no pet turtle, no mustache, he didn't even lived on an island... he was just a pervert Chou Yun Fat, that's it
-Piccolo was there because they needed a villian

On to the other crappy things:
-People knew about Namek and shit!
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Master Roshi's master was still alive
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-The Mafuba sucked bit time
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Holy shit the Kame-Hame Ha can heal people!!!
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Gohan dies because his house collapses on him, not bacause Goku goes Oozaru on his ass
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-The Oozaru state is not provoked by full moon but by an eclipse, and guess what? You Don't need a tail to go into Oozaru... Wanna know why? Because Oozaru is no longer a state per se, it's a character who terrorized the Earth with Piccolo before the latter was banished by the Mafuba. So one must ask: What in the hell happened to Saiyajins and their nasty tails?
-Goku is into girls and he's not a stupid silly boy
-Not only did Shen-ron not talked but... well... look for yourselves
That thing is not Shen-ron... Besidesd not being awesomly huge, it is not awesomely awesome.... and look! No black sky, no thunders, no nothing!
-Did I mentioned that Goku is into girls now? And he is a kind of cool guy!

Well... I guess I made my point.
Notice that all my criticism towards the movie it's directed at it due to the fact that I am a hardcore fan, so I hate this adaptation; but had the movie been a perfect adaptation it waould have sucked anyways because the direction sucked, art direction sucked, the music sucked, performances sucked and pretty much everything else sucked too... but that is something Napo will surely talk on his brand new blog. Wont you Napo?

Anyway this movie left me tired and angry so now that I've left steam out, I'll go.
See you later people.